It should've never have happened the way it did...and the reason I am writing this is to ensure no one else will have to feel the guilt and regret that I have been feeling every day, since the evening of May 5th.\r
\r
The day was perfect, we drove him out to the beach, to walk in the sand and water he so very much enjoyed in our years out in Washington. Schroeder began physically pulling away as he grew more sick in those last couple weeks, so being able to hold him in our laps, close to our hearts, on the drive and let him feel the wind against his fur one more time, meant so much.\r
\r
We thought putting him to sleep in our home would be most comfortable, like most dogs, he was so nervous going to the vets, so we had Dr. Nelson come to our home. Pulling out the electric razor was the first mistake. Anyone who has ever spent time with dogs, knows that an object that makes an odd noise and vibrates, can be enough to terrify any dog. \r
\r
Shaving him, missing the vein and not bringing sedatives...The look of fear in his worn eyes is not the memory I wanted to have play over and over in my mind. All the questions of why and what if's come crashing in and leave my heart so very heavy. If only I weren't so dismissed in the reality of losing him I could've changed the way the events were unfolding and protected him from being so frightened in his very last breath.\r
\r
Schroeder, meant the world to us...He was the one dog that taught us how to completely open our soul to an animal and truly love. He entered my world by jumping into my lap, instantly loving and trusting me with his little life...He was supposed to leave the world the same way. \r
more