Looking to prepare your own food, sift through pretentiously titled entrees, endure bad service, choke down mediocre food and navigate an unnecessarily co-ed bathroom? Try Chino Latino. Actual quote from our waiter as he delivered our beef appetizer: ""Ever eaten this before? No? Well you just take the largest, outside piece of the iceberg lettuce, place a piece of beef, some kimchi, and spread some seared red onions inside, wrap it up, tie it with some parsley sprig we have supplied here and eat it."" Wait what was the third step again? I felt like I needed a pen and paper. The couple next to me was struggling to assemble their ""Tapas del Sol"" or some such nonsense with little success. The ""Crispy Saigon Rolls"" (read: egg rolls) were over sized take-out chinese egg rolls with sauce clearly poured out of a gallon bottle that you had to wrap for some reason in lettuce and wilted, browned sprouts to ""enjoy"". Examining some other items, could we drop the facade and just describe the food? ""Snoop Dog's Smoked Salmon Rolls"" is a Philly Roll, pure and simple. ""Popocatepe"" is french fries served with nacho fixings. ""Lamma Island Salty Squid"" is fried calamari.
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