""Honey...it's time you got a vasectomy."" \r
Those simple words from my wife led me to Mercy Hospital of Pittsburgh. Little did I know what I was in for. \r
The check-in should have been a tip off (no pun intended). There were two women and a man behind the counter. The woman were very sweet, but the man kept pointing to the door and silently mouthing ""Run"" every time the women weren't looking at him. I just thought he was nuts and proceeded to the outpatient operation room. \r
The walls in that room were covered with bloody writing. ""Leave now!"" one scribe had written. ""They're going to cut it off"" said another. Stupid me. \r
After what seemed like an eternity the ""doctor"" came in. He kind of looked like Tommy Chong and it was clear he was wasted. His thick beard and glasses obscured his features so I couldn't really get a handle on where he was coming from. He kept muttering something about ""Stumpy"". Again it seems obvious now but what was I to know. \r
In between incoherent ramblings I finally figured out that he kept repeating ""Drop your pants"". \r
""Well, he's the doctor"", I said to myself. So I dropped trou. It was difficult to get off the chain mail armor I had been wearing under my clothes but after a brief struggle I was successful. \r
In the meantime the doctor had fallen asleep...again! I chuckled because he kept scratching his head with the scalpel while asleep. Big hunks of hair went tumbling from his head every time he did. \r
After he woke up he seemed a little startled at his surroundings. I gently reminded him that I was here for a vasectomy. As soon as I said that he cackled gleefully and rubbed his hands together. I think he was actually drooling. \r
He began to lower the scalpel. At this point I had begun to suspect that maybe things weren't quite what they seemed. I was almost ready to pull up my pants and go when the door banged open and 4 or 5 orderlies came rushing in. \r
""Doctor Jones,"" said the first one man (a burly black man) through the door, ""We have an emergency we need you to attend to.""\r
Without a word he wheeled out of the room and the orderlies followed. The door banged shut, leaving me alone once again. \r
Hours passed. I occupied my time by removing the ceiling tiles and examing the ductwork. If you could review a hospital based on ductwork then this hospital would for sure come out on top...they were a cut above! Again, no pun intended. \r
My watch read 11 PM and I was ready to pack it in. I stood up and reached for the door handle. It was almost in my hand when the door came banging open again. ..and I felt a spasm of pain ""down there"". The curved door handle had managed to snag my foreskin and ripped it clean off! Unfortunately it took more along with it. Blood spurted everywhere.. All I could think of was to grab my crotch. Whew...this is a long review so far. I'll finish up tomorrow...I have to go change my bandage.
Pros: Free sex changes
Cons: Unintended free sex changes
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