Not since Warren Road Elementary School’s cafeteria in the mid 1970’s has my palate been as brutally assaulted as it was on my recent visit to Medieval Times. There are many lousy chain restaurants out there but they have gloriously risen to a level not fit for the United States penal system.
Let us begin with the Tomato bisque or should I say watered down Campbell’s Tomato Bisque. You could heat up a can of V8 and get better results. Is it that difficult for a Knight to learn how to puree fresh tomatoes, onions and celery? Why not take the profit from one Ye Olde t-shirt and buy a week supply of fresh basil?
Garlic Bread? Did I miss the Spinach Ricotta Cannelloni? This is about as authentic as the smoke machines and laser wands in the establishment. Medieval peasant breads were made from barley and rye, baked into dark heavy loaves. Much better than what you’re faux King will serve his royal suckers.
On the other hand, they did produce the worst piece of chicken I have ever had in my life. Quite an accomplishment. It must take a special chef to produce such a dried out tasteless piece of meat. Here’s some free advice: Soak chicken in salt water overnight. Remove from water and pat dry inside and out. Rub outside with salt, pepper and sage. Place in open pan over rosemary and onion. Bake at 350 degrees. DO NOT COVER. Baste with pan juices now and then for about 45 minutes. Jeez, you don’t need Merlin to figure out a good piece of baked chicken.
Next up was a rib. Yeah, this tasted like it was basted in the tomato bisque. I must admit that I was so upset at this point I went into the mall and had a slice of pizza.
Medieval Times is about the show and selling t-shrts only. They have driven their food cost down to nothing and It's third world prison bad. I'm not kidding folks and $25 for a 32 oz domestic beer is insulting.
Pros: Silly place to drink with friends.
Cons: The Food!
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