Decor: Universal Studios meets Italian town stereotype plus 20 years. Fake brick, fake ivy, fake rooftops, murals of a streetview in ""italy"". The CARPET design is supposed to mimic stones for crying out loud. We should have walked out then. Seating: The restaurant was roughly a 1/3 full, granted, it was about 8 o'clock...so why was everyone seated right next to each other when there were so many empty tables open across the room? Was this for waitstaff efficiency? Is this why we (a couple) and a few other couples were seated next to a family with two extremely energetic (and often scream-y) toddlers? At these prices? Wow, thanks. Menu: Seemed OK, albeit pretty pricey. ""This better be good, wink wink!"" Order: For the Mr - pancetta-wrapped scallops and gnocchi with meat sauce - came with a salad...great! For the lady - octopus salad (had too many carbs today, let's try to reign it in) Outcome: Hair in the wine. Wow. I never had this happen, but...it wasn't really touching the wine, it was just kind of stuck to the inside of the glass. OK. I'm a big girl, I can let it go. I pull it out, let's move on. The Mr. gets his salad. With a long hair in it. I swear. I laughed out loud, because in the span of 10 minutes, 2 hairs? In 2 different 'dishes'? What?! Rightfully so, we ask for a replacement. Salad was Olive Garden quality, but what do you expect...it's a ""it comes with"" salad...no biggie. Here come the gnocchi and my octopus salad! Gnocchi - hmmm. So suspiciously uniform and...meh. Definitely not like how nonna used to make (as many reviewers on this board like to reference) or I actually make, for crying out loud. This could have been forgiven if not for the sauce...watery, and the ground meat was tough as hell. The Mr. reached immediately for the parmesan (in its shaker, of course) to try and remedy the situation. Octopus - hmmm. Is octopus supposed to be tough as an eraser and bland like one too? The flavors in this pre-made salad were passable, but not enough to make up for the protein, let's call it. Listen, at this point, the Mr. and I love food too much to stomach faking our way through this cuisine and experience. After a few bites we asked to have these dishes removed and for our bill. We only had one of the dishes removed from our bill (which was fine, we just wanted to leave) and then, here comes the manager/owner (we don't know since we weren't introduced) The exchange: Him - ""The gnocchi are fresh! They are imported from italy! They are not frozen!"" Me - ""Imported from italy and NOT frozen?! Huh?"" Him - ""The meat sauce is carefully cooked for 6 hours!"" Me - ""No wonder it's so dry"" Him - ""It is not our fault, the quality of the octopus that we get; once we get it, we cook it for 2 hours"" Me - ""No wonder it's so dry"" Listen - I'm not even joking at this point...it really got to this level. Him - ""We are the best italian restaurant in this area! Name me one that's better!"" Me - ""Bacco, Il Posto, Cafe Cortina, Picano's"" Him - ""And they charge an arm and a leg"" Me - ""I'd gladly pay that and THESE prices, which are NOT cheap, for high-quality food"" Him - ""Well, X's kitchen is filthy, would you like to see mine? Ours is spotless!!"" Me - ""The cleanliness of your kitchen is not in question here. I know good food, and this is not good food."" Me - ""Are you sure you want to make such a scene in this 'amazing' restaurant of yours?"" (because yes, it really did get to that level) Him -""You and YOU are never allowed here again!"" Me - ""I don't think you need to worry about that"" Him - ""I don't ever want to see you again!"" Me - ""I don't think there's a chance"" Him - ""Not allowed back in here!"" Me - ""OK. We're saying the same thing here."" Bottom line - you want good Italian food, go to Bacco (AMAZING, recently won an award for this area), Il Posto, Picano's (bit more affordable). Hell, even Luigi's in downtown Mt. Clemens was better than this.
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