By far the worst Thai massage I've ever had. My masseuse quickly disappointed me. It felt like it was her first day on the job. There was absolutely no rhythm, no symmetry, she was rubbing and stepping on my bone and exacerbated a previous knee injury I thought was fully healed. I told her not to give me a face massage but she ended up still touching my face and spent a good 20 minutes trying to massage my head that really did not feel like anything but petting my head as if it was a Chia Pet. It was blatantly obvious she was buying time. It gets worse. She was burping throughout the entire massage which really got me questioning why I got the 90 minute massage over the 60 minute. She was sucking on a candy that kept clanking loudly to her teeth that was comparable to Big Ben at midnight. It gets worse. During the massage, my masseuse got up twice to go to the bathroom. Coming back with cold wet hands (that I still pray was only water), she went directly back to my skin as if it was the norm. How romantic.
So there I am, 89 minutes miserable into my whole massage with a body even more tense than before. That last minute couldn't have come faster. But really it wasn't over. There's the extortion room where you to pass by in order to get to exit and they're sitting with your water in one hand and an open palm in the other. I find this maneuver a little unethical. I could not wait to get home and take a deep long shower that slightly helped to get rid of the last remnants of Oasis Tan and Spa.
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