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do not go there! - Review by citysearch c | Clarke Cooke House

Clarke Cooke House

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do not go there! 12/1/2008

If you like yourself, save time, money and - most importantly - your taste buds and go to another restaurant in Newport. In my travels, I have been to plenty good and bad restaurants, and Clarke Cooke must rank somewhere near the bottom. When we parked in the Bannister Wharf parking lot, the attendant told us that any of the restaurants on Bannister Wharf would reimburse us $10 parking if we eat there. Needless to say that spending almost $300 for 6 people was apparently not enough. The manager gave me some story about how they do not have an agreement with the parking lot - as if there is another place to park nearby. I hope that these $10 will make a real difference in his life... The service was atrocious, although not as bad as some other patrons have experienced. We wanted a table on the lower deck next to the window, but they could not seat us in that section because the restaurant was not full... The waiter was a nice enough fellow, but his cheap synthetic tie that was clipped to his moderately white uniform shirt with a paper clip was not quite up to the price level of the menu. Perhaps, the $10 they saved on our parking could eventually go to pay for the waiter's tie clip... The wine we ordered was not available and we got a cheaper alternative that tasted accordingly. Some of us got current menus and some - old ones with items no longer offered at the restaurant. Since I could not find any seafood that looked appealing, I opted for a $15 burger. I specifically asked for fried onions since I cannot stand the look and smell of fresh ones - and explained it to the waiter. Of course, my burger had both fried and fresh onions. Everyone else's food was equally strange and barely edible. The ""hand-cut"" fries and the required pickle were equally horrendous. Even my corny joke about the waiter bringing only one mahi instead of mahi-mahi found its mark - the portions for everyone were small. Of course, if you hate yourself, go to McDonald's... Pros: does not smell as bad as Black Pearl next door Cons: Prices, service, taste, and everything else about the restaurant more
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