So, my friend, Fig (an accomplished distance runner), recently moved to Seattle and called me to complain about his new personal trainer. As he went on about it, I realized that I also have complaints about my trainer, Tiffany, at lifeBODY fitness. Before I knew it, this woman drove 50 POUNDS OF FAT from my body in 4 months! So inconsiderate! Now what am I supposed to do with all this freakin' lean muscle mass? How am I supposed to deal with all this newfound self-esteem and body image healing and on-top-of-the-world feeling? And where's the money tree that's going to help me buy new size 36 jeans since the size 46 ones I used to wear have been rendered useless by this fitness guru? I'll probably need smaller ones in a couple more months! And if I hear her heartfelt encouragement one more time, or if I have to endure any more valuable information and camaraderie, there's gonna be fireworks. I mean, who says ""You're awesome!"" day in and day out anyway? It's like she's pulling for me or something, like she's 100% behind me and is personally invested in my success. I guess it isn't enough that she takes the time to get to know me, or that she consistently pushes me to new achievements, or that she zeroes in on nutrition like a sniper to help me develop life-prolonging habits. Noooooooo, she's gotta be friendly and supportive and focused and uber-knowledgeable to boot? Sheesh! How much positive energy can one guy take?
Pros: Tiffany's the only pro you need!
Cons: Kidnapping her for lifelong training is illegal
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