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Review content:
We travel widely and have dined at top rated restaurants from Athens to St. Helena. We are not elite food snobs. But we know what we like from broad experience of eating out three times a week around the country. And while we can't necessarily compare the subtlties of different sea foams we know how to have an intelligent conversation with an Alice Waters or a Suzanne Goin or a Lydia Shire.
We have NEVER experienced the kind of abuse we received at this overrated hole at the bottom of Munjoy Hill. Crowded tables are arranged like a take-out diner, although faux ""artsy"" details like a pebblestone entrance mask the true nature of the operation. The overpriced menu tells dinners they will have to order three ""courses"" (at $25 a pop) to actually be fed. But they don't tell you they are smaller than tapas. The Cod, for example, had to be 2 oz max. The Rib Eye ""medallion"" was the diameter of a half-dollar coin. The salad consisted of four fingernail-sized tomatoes and a couple of sticks of greens. The portion scam wouldn't be so offensive if the food wasn't so mediocre. Oysters we received as an appetizer had clearly been shucked hours prior, shells were completely dry, and the contents smelled and tasted fishy. The meat , such as it was, was tough, marbled, undercooked, and flavorless. It did not help that the $25 ""taste"" (billed as a course, not a tapas) came without any accompanyment (save drizzle of duckfat). Our much anticipated Saturday night dinner started out inauspiciously with four quarter-sized ""biscuits"" which were ceremoniously refilled with a shorter plate with two (as if daring us to ask for more). Save for the wine (the only redeeming feature--a reasonably priced wine list--go figure), the food experience went from bad to worse. We didn't finish our tiny mini plates (and trust us, that's a statement).
Not wanting to make a scene (but committed to being honest about our feelings), we asked for a comment card. We were presented with a tiny business card, where we had to scrawl out our feedback on the back. Still feeling ripped off twenty minutes later, we called the manager, who put us on the phone with the co-owner (who had been sitting next to us at the bar doing office work on a Saturday night). Most legitimate owners would be grateful for feedback (especially negative feedback). Instead the co-owner argued on the phone, chastizing us for leaving ""a nasty note"" (the only alternative when a restaurant is too good for a comment card). Her six-time repeated refrain: ""What do you want?"" ""We've been in business for nine years?"" As if the continued existence of the restaurant justifies the scam on paying customers. The tautology is complete: ""We're still around, so customers are irrelevant!""
Obviously we won't be back. Later that night, after leaving a marvelous experience at Fore Street, we drove past Hugos, where we saw several of the staff out loitering in front of the restaurant smoking cigarettes. This restaurant is apparently ""so good"" that it no longer even has to try to create the ""street impression"" of a good experience.
If you like abuse, you'll absolutely love Hugos.
P.S. There are lots of truly great restaurants in Portland (Fore Street, Street and Co, 555, Grill Room, etc) that care about the product and experience they provide.
Pros: Wine List/Ambiance of Bar
Cons: Just about everything else
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