In the past couple of years, I've become a big fan of coaching as a way to gain perspective on what I'm doing professionally and reconnect it with my personal values. I have had a great experience working with CJ Rosenblatt of "Your Whole Life". Here is a little background on coaching and on CJ's strengths in particular.
I run a successful small business and like to think of myself as fairly self-aware and business savvy. I'm not really into new-age mysticism or "woo-woo". I tend to deal with "issues" on my own, and only turned to a coach when my business partner and I found ourselves clashing over the same things over and over again. We just couldn't get out of a rut and our business and friendship was suffering.
As you can probably tell, I was skeptical about "coaching" at first. I recalled a Seinfeld episode in which George coaches his "mentee" to do all his research on risk management for him. I wasn't sure if a coach was a therapist, business consultant, spiritual guide, or a cheerleader. It turns out that a good coach is all of the above to varying degrees. I was delighted to discover that CJ, a former client of my firm, was the right combination for me: business-smart and family-friendly, supportive yet hard-nosed, a good listener who asks pointed questions.
As a high-powered former MSFT exec who has recentered her life on her personal values and passions, CJ takes a holistic approach to balancing work, play, and family. Without that perspective, it's all too easy to settle for compromises that don't do any of our passions justice. I think a lot of us need someone to say, hey, wait a minute, is this what it's all about? How could it be better? What would happen if you changed this?
Over the course of several initial meetings, CJ helped me clarify my personal values and to bring my work and home life into better alignment with them. I was in the midst of a lot of change at work and it was important to build a new direction on a solid footing. CJ encouraged me not to sell myself, my work, or my family life short. She asked insightful questions that challenged me to get beyond my usual loops of internal logic. I especially appreciated how well she created a structure for our conversations so that they didn't become rambling digressions on my part. She kept me on track, took careful notes, and kept looping back to central themes. With CJ taking care of the structure of our conversation, I was much more able to go with the flow.
This work lead to some really valuable insights that have helped me let go of some hangups and be truer to myself. It has probably paid off financially, but that's not really the point. In general, I feel more grounded in self-knowledge and better equipped to make decisions in keeping with my personal journey.
Coaching is not cheap and it shouldn't be. With a smart, well-trained coach like CJ, you aren't just hiring a good listener. You can get that from a best friend. A good coach is a professional whose work should pay off in helping you live more effectively. It's important to give the process enough time and not just treat it as a band-aid. After an initial more intense series of meetings, a regular tune-up call or meeting is very valuable in holding you accountable. Maybe I am the only one who procrastinates about these things, but I find that an upcoming coaching session is a powerful motivator.
I should also say that one size does not fit all in coaching. It is a newer field and there are a lot of variations out there. Do your homework, talk to a number of people and make sure there is a good fit. Someone like CJ can be a valuable ally and advocate for "Your Whole Life."
John DeForest, AIA
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