Every day is another chance to start fresh. This is something I have learned through my experience with Ibogaine. When you’re in the depths of depression, drug use seems the only easy way to make it stop, though it is merely a temporary fix. It’s a vicious circle of mental and physical pain that engulfs your entire life. This is my third Ibogaine treatment. I now reflect on where I went wrong before. It is very important that when you go home, you have an after-care plan. The first time I came here, I didn’t know what to expect. I came out of treatment very well—happier than I have been since I was a child. I was positive I would never use opiates again, or any chemical drugs for that matter. I went home strong and confident. Too confident. I thought,Well, I still need my friends, and so what if they use? I don’t want that stuff. Days, weeks, months went by, and I was still strong, until I had a bad day. And then because it was around I figured I would do it just once. If there is anything I have learned from 12 Steps, one is too many and a thousand is never enough. The very best advice I can give you is this: Ibogaine gives you a window to break the cycle, but it is your job to get after-care, as well as change your social network. Life is a roller coaster of ups and downs, and when you are so used to not dealing with it, to numbing yourself, it is hard to figure out ways to cope without drugs. But it is possible. Don’t get your true friends confused with the people you used drugs with. And finally, stay strong, stay healthy, stay happy. This is only about you and maintaining your sobriety! Thank you to the incredible Crossroads staff and special thanks to Dr. Martin Polanco for all of your patience and support.
-Nicole
October 8, 2012
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